An Illness

This blog is semi-devoted to work and semi-devoted to me. The truth is, since I did my TEFL course, my brain has been taken over by a rare but serious virus.  This virus is the TEFL bug and it’s made me too obsessive in a neagtive way.  Since I took on my first teaching job, I’ve been all-consumed.  Although you may think “she’s committed and devoted”, the truth is, this neuroticism based around my work has not given me many benefits.  I’m sure I’ll be a better teacher once I find my personality again. Once I take my foot off the acceleration and once I stop trying hammer into metal.  I often feel drained my trying to squeeze creativity out rather than letting it come out by itself.

I used to be an interesting and exciting person, passionate about art and film and music.  Now, I can’t even remember what I’m all about.  My fella says I’m there but I’m not really there.  This was not meant to happen.  I did the TEFL course for him: to be with him.  Now, I’m a shadowy woman who’s only half-there.

I’ve been taking it all a bit too seriously.  And I love the profession.  And I know one day I’ll be a good teacher.  But I’ll be a good teacher sooner if I chill out and let myself go a little.  Life is for living and work is to live.

 

 

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2 Responses to “An Illness”

  1. David Warr Says:

    Hi Kirsten, I’ve read a few of your posts now. I hope your mood improves. There are gales herre by the way, no point in taking an umbrella, just gets blown inside out. Nice?!
    I understand and empathise with your situation, I’m right in thinking you’re new to teaching?

    It’s coming down soon and going to a different url, but you might like to have a look through Language Garden and use it in class if you have the chance. If nothing else, you can just go into class and let the students do the activities, so you don’t have to spend much (any!?) time preparing, leaving you more time for Jane Austen.

    http://www.languagegarden.org/Activities/Navigation.swf

    I’m sorry I can’t be more help for the moment.

    David

  2. crazykites Says:

    Thanks, David! Can you believe I’ve never read Jane Austen in English? I only saw the films. But a combo of no Spanish TV and not much internet has forced me to read more. I’m just dying to keep up my Spanish somehow, and teaching English really doesn’t help my Spanish. 🙂

    I taught for 5 months in England for 1.5 hours a day. Then, in Septmeber I started full time teaching. Does that still mean I’m new? I’m wondering when I’m meant to feel “at home” in this profession. I feel I have no good new ideas and stuff. I’m on a bit of a downer. I wish I weren’t. I’m in Spain, I’m supposed to be enjoying the sunshine, right? (Although today and yesterday, there has not been much in the way of sunshine.)

    I read great blogs of teachers who’ve obviously got it, and so I try and learn from them, although I meet with mediocrity in the classroom. I know I’ve got the potential talent for this. I’d love to know when this “talent” will show it’s face.

    I’ll defo try your exercises. I’m looking for more time for the things I enjoy more than planning!

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